My Son, the Pirate-Knight, 18 September 2012

The great thing about thrift stores ("charity stores," if you're not from around these here parts) is that they are thrifty.  This morning, Z and I dropped off G at school and started on a treasure hunt.  (Quick rabbit trail: We stopped at a seed store first, where I bought poppy and sweet pea seeds and diatomaceous-earth dust, which apparently "tears apart" the bugs who eat it, according to the shop keeper.  It's organic and it kills bugs--no oil involved--so I'm for it.  As far as the flower seeds go, I love the thought of them magically blooming in my front yard in the spring.  It might actually take magic for them to bloom, since I currently have no place prepared to plant them.  But I have a handle on the pest control, so I'm still ahead.)

A great thing about thrift stores at this time of year is that they have racks of costumes and shelves of accessories, ranging from padded Pooh Bear toddler outfits to adult-size Darth Vader suits, and everything in between.  While I searched for potential birthday gifts for G (hey, he won't know it's been used), Z discovered his own treasures.

When I turned around from pawing through a rack, there was a 3.5-foot tall pirate staring at me, complete with three-cornered black hat, plastic cutlass, and huge grin.

His weapon of choice basically looked like this

Throughout the rest of my browsing, Young Pirate followed me around in his garb; I think he didn't poke any of the other shoppers with the sword.  Before leaving, his eye caught two other treasures: One was a plastic knight's helmet and the other a heavy sword (still plastic, but much more substantial).

The sword he found was slightly shorter and slightly more plastic than this image, but not by much

Z immediately decided that G should receive the pirate hat and large sword, while he would keep the cutlass and switch to the helmet.  But Rachel draws a line on bringing home weapons that could break the other weapons already at home, so I said "no" to that but "yes" to the pirate hat, the cutlass, and the helmet, adding a total of $2.37 to the pile of practical things already in my cart.

"Oh, your total is just a few cents away from qualifying for the $10-off coupon!" the unwitting cashier pointed out.  "Do you want to grab something else?"

Sigh.  Did I buy the 10-cent plastic farm animal sitting on the counter?  As if drawn by an unstoppable force, I fetched the barely-plastic $1.99 sword and added it to the pile.  "Well Z," I conceded, "I guess G gets his sword after all!"

There is something truly delightful about a small child smooshed under a plastic helmet, calling out brashly, "Here's your sword Mommy!  Try and get me!  I'm wearing a helmet so you can't, haha!"  How could I resist?  I grabbed the black pirate hat and the Scary Sword and we began the battle.  Of course, it's impossible for Mommy to win, because if she thwacks a leg, it grows back; and if she gets too close, she's declared captured and hauled off to jail (AKA the bench in the entryway); and if she tries to escape, she's bound with invisible chains.

Z in his "knight cap," as he refers to it

Eventually, I switched sides and joined the Allies, just in time for G to arrive home from school and claim his rights to the new toys.  I sauntered out to the driveway to meet the carpool--oh wait!  Was I still brandishing a sword and sporting a pirate hat?  Giggles from the interior of the van and a smile from the driver revealed that I was.

To end this seedy tale I fast-forward to bedtime tonight.  I went to the living room to find Z, who stood slightly-hunched over with his hands inside his pajama pants.  Before I had time to even imagine what he could be doing in such a position, he straightened up and pulled his hand out from under the waistband...with a cutlass as long as his legs following!  Being a mother of boys, I'm sure I will be shocked many times over the years, but nothing had quite prepared me to see a 2.5-foot sword--hilt and all--rise out of the recesses of a small boy's pajama bottoms.

Methinks that any day which includes pirates, knights, and giggles is a good day.  And now a good-night to ye, mateys!