Today my husband had a deposition with a police sergeant and a district attorney, and my six-year old confessed that he kissed a girl. Just a normal day, right?
As strange and heavy as it is to be involved in a murder trial, it's the kissing story that's making me reel a bit, to be honest. Yesterday, when I picked up G from school, his teacher pulled me aside to tell me that G had been talking about kissing girls during recess. When I broached the subject with him, he cringed and refused to talk about it.
But--O miracle of having a two-parent family--Jay was able to coax the story out of him during dinner tonight by first asking G if he was embarrassed to talk about it (he said he was) and assuring him that we wouldn't think "bad-silly" thoughts about him. Then G smiled and said there was a girl at school who "hated him" but that he liked. (!!!!) And he kissed her. !!!! "What did she do?" Jay prompted casually. "She pulled away her arm." This here mom breathed a sigh of relief that it was only an arm kiss, at least. G continued, "She didn't like it because her daddy said she couldn't have a boyfriend." !!!!!!!
He continued that sometimes she liked being around him and sometimes she didn't. Like when they participated in a learning station during class, she enjoyed being with him, and they cuddled. (I wanted to interrogate, "What do you mean, cuddled???" but I kept my mouth shut.) But later she didn't want to be around him.
Jay talked about why he could kiss me--"because we're married"--and I piped up that it might make the girl nervous if G talked about kissing with her. "It doesn't make her nervous," G retorted confidently. "She just doesn't like me." Then Jay led a discussion that every little and big boy should hear, and suggested that maybe G should find out what kinds of things she likes and then do those things. My eyes widened a bit when G rattled off what kinds of things she likes to eat and how she plays, but I'll choose to perceive this as him innocently inheriting my gift of observation, rather than being a stalker in the making.
I have to admit, G was awfully cute as he smiled and talked about this girl, and as he giggled about the things he did around her. And to be perfectly honest, I remember pretending about kissing boys when I was his age, but I certainly didn't try to kiss any of them for reals! Come to think of it, I deliberately avoided the occasional affectionate advance. But I had no qualms about chasing said boys around the lawn. I better quit before I bare too many quasi-embarrassing facts.
My take-away from this is that it's good to know I have a little boy who participates in his social environments, who feels safe talking about his feelings and actions around his family, and is willing to listen to suggestions about behavior changes. Yes, those are good things.
One last Mommy thing to add: Little Girl who spurns my charming son's playful affection, someday you're going to look back and say wistfully, "I really liked that boy G."
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