Eew, 29 May 2012

Today was a big day at our house!  I discovered that garlic powder and ground ginger look the same, and G lost his first tooth.

The ground ginger story is a short one: I added it to a sweet yogurt-lime dip and was confused why the dip left a garlicky aftertaste in my mouth.  I tried the yogurt by itself and it was fine; the lime juice by itself was fine; and with squinched-up face I tried the ginger.  It wasn't ginger, it was garlic.  That's what you get when you buy your spices in bulk and forget to label the tags—or in this case, forget to read the labels your husband wrote on the tags.

Happily, I made a fresh batch sans ginger and it was much tastier.

So much for that story.

Now for the tooth!  During G's dental cleaning last month, the hygienist discovered that two of his teeth were slightly loose, one more than the other.  We smiled and giggled and told G that if he wiggled his tooth and it came out, the Tooth Fairy would come during the night and leave him money.  (Quick aside: My parents did NOT play the Santa Claus game, yet they shamelessly played Tooth Fairy.  Odd.  Naturally, now I do the same thing.  P.S. At a very tender age, I did catch a glimpse of the Tooth Fairy as she waved her wand over my pillow, and she looked just like my mom.  Pregnant.)  I also quietly renewed my solemn vow never EVER to pull out a tooth.  Shudder.

G was excited about the Tooth Fairy—although someone must have spilled the beans because he insists that it's only Mommy or Daddy who comes—and he wiggled now and then when he thought of it, but didn't do much else about the tooth.  Then tonight during dinner he complained that the chicken was too hard to chew, so I looked at the tooth and saw that it was a bit askew.  I went so far as to give it a gingerly wiggle.  Forgoing all example-setting pretense of “isn't this cool?” I yelped and yanked back my hand when the tooth turned beneath my touch.

Enter Jay.  “Honey,” I whimpered, “can you pull out a tooth?  Because if you can't, I'm calling a friend to come over and do it.”  My vow must stand.  Jay blankly looked up from his computer, but before I reached the phone said, “Yeah.  I can do it.”  My hero!

And he did!  I left the room on pretense of doing dishes while Jay spent a loving 15 minutes with G, talking with him and gently teasing the tooth (shudder gross eew) until a beaming, watery-eyed little boy ran up to me, wide mouth held proudly open.  Jay held the tiny thing (blech) in his palm and proudly shared how well G had done with the whole thing.

My little G!  When did he grow up enough to start losing teeth?  It makes me sad on the one hand, but very happy on the other, because the growth of his mind and spirit are truly beautiful.  Vastly unlike the baby tooth, of course.

We popped that puppy into an envelope which is now tucked snugly under a pillow.  Mrs. Tooth Fairy still needs to confer with Mr. Tooth Fairy about current going rates for baby teeth, because the Mrs. got a dime when she was a little girl and the Mr. got a dollar.  Between that large discrepancy and inflation since the '80s, I'm hoping they can settle on a fair rate.

Perhaps Mrs. Tooth Fairy should also come up with a suitable compensation for the brave, nay, heroic efforts of her sacrificial husband in tonight's tooth removal.  Oo, I have a good idea.  I'll feed him yogurt-lime dip.  Hold the garlic!

The Problem with Chocolate Muffins, 24 May 2012

The problem with chocolate muffins--one of them--is that they're called muffins.  If the recipe said "cupcakes," I probably wouldn't have baked them today.  Or eaten four of them.  Then again, if they were called cupcakes I would have added frosting, so at least I'm saving myself on that point.

The truth is, I'm celebrating.  I'm celebrating my achievement in sticking with this year's homeschool hybrid program even though it majored on my weaknesses and minored on my strengths, as Jay very sweetly articulated for me.  I'm celebrating that G came through the school year having more knowledge and greater skills in the Three 'Rs' than he did at the beginning.  I'm celebrating that it's summer break and I don't have to keep track of "does this count for school hours?" anymore.  I'm celebrating that both my kids are so cute and have so much sweetness in them.

Basically, I'm celebrating the ways that God has been faithful during this past year from the-place-God-isn't (if you catch my drift).

And because it also happens to be my monthly chocolate week--gotta love hormones--the aforementioned muffins are figuring prominently into the celebrating.

Speaking of prominent figures, I do not plan to continue this Celebration = Eat Cake Whenever I Feel Like It thing, because that was my philosophy in college and earned me a cool 30 pounds.  However, since I'm a bit bloated this week anyway--gotta love hormones--and am not going clothes shopping, I'm going to enjoy the muffins while they last.  Perhaps with some vanilla ice cream.

The Last Page, 21 May 2012

Today G finished the last worksheet of his kindergarten year!  But lest that simple sentence belie the significance of the event, allow me to elaborate. (You can tell from my vocabulary that my personal education went beyond kindergarten.)

This school year was an experiment.  After looking at several schooling options for almost-5-year-old G, we decided on enrolling him in a public charter school that offered a homeschool hybrid program.  Being public, the school is free, but being charter, it isn't attached to a particular school district, so their programs have much more flexibility.

G is a very active kid, and having him stuck in a desk for most of the day didn't sound attractive, but I had a lot of insecurity about keeping him at home and taking sole responsibility for his education, so this hybrid program sounded ideal.   We would be provided with curriculum, the teacher and we would meet once a month to set assignments and go over the work G had done, and he had optional classes two mornings a week with other students.  Perfect.

But as things in an unexpected life tend to go, the year was not perfect.  Firstly, I realized when we started school in August how deeply I felt the void of not having my mom around as mentor.  She homeschooled six kids all the way from K-12, and I never anticipated venturing into home education without her.  I felt the pain of loss with every assignment and every activity.

Secondly, I felt a lot of stress with the pressure of suddenly needing four hours per day of "accounted-for" learning activities.  I knew that pretty much everything we do is a learning activity--but it took about 6 months for me to figure out how to easily keep track of it on paper.

Thirdly, my mother-in-law died and my brother-in-law was incarcerated and my sister-in-law had a wedding, all in the space of 6 weeks.  During the following 8 weeks, my dad got engaged and one sister had a baby and another sister got engaged.

Finally, worksheets stop for no man, regardless of crisis or exhaustion.  As we met with G's teacher the first couple times at the beginning of the year, I began to realize that the only learning activities that "counted" for school records were worksheets.  Turns out, G hates worksheets.  He loves learning and discovering with books, computers, games, movies, play, and hands-on.  But sit him in a chair with a paper and pencil and teeth grating begins.

Worksheets have been the bane of our existence over the last 9 months.  Hair-pulling, tongue-biting, fist-clenching, groaning exasperation.  And that was just me.  G added whining, goofing, doodling, scribbling, squirming, and complaining.

But thanks be to God and my dear friends who prayed for us, today we finished the last one!

The very last page was a math worksheet.  After the second-to-last page, G and I did a little dance.  After the first side of the last page, G and I did a little dance.  After the last side of the last page, G and I whooped around the room and spun in circles, before giving big hugs all around!

The last page

Z gets big props too, because he's been a trooper, sitting quietly or playing on his own during all the hours G and I have wrestled with pencil and paper.

Isn't this a fairly momentous achievement?  To top it all off, G did a year-end assessment with his teacher, who found that he has improved in all subjects by a minimum of one grade level.  I'MNOTAFAILURE.  We celebrated today by getting G his very own library card and going out as a family to dinner and dessert.  Tomorrow we'll celebrate by not doing any worksheets.

And next year we're doing a different school program, but I'll tell you about that later.  For now, we're just thankful to be done.  Hooyah!!

Thanksgiving, 13 May 2012

Today is Mother's Day, but I think I'll rename it Thanksgiving Day for this year.  There are several things I'd like to express thankfulness for.

The first is you!  Yesterday I glanced at my all-time page view count and saw that it had reached 1000 views!  I know that doesn't mean 1000 people have ventured onto the site, and it does include a number of my own views, but for a first-time blogger, 1000 seems pretty sweet.  :-)  So thank you for being part of my sharing.  I don't even know all of your names, but I want you to know that I'm humbled and challenged by your readership.

Big sloppy hug.  Or maybe just a wave, for those of you who may be a bit intimidated by hugs.

The next Thank You is to my kids.  Through some coaching from their daddy (who had been assured ahead of time that being celebrated by my children was important to me), I received lots and lots of hugs and these drawings, each depicting something I do to make them feel special.

Here is Z's picture:

He explained to me that this was my garden, and that these are mushrooms, but not bad mushrooms--yummy mushrooms with grapes growing on them that we can eat.  I'm not totally clear on his thought process for this, but I'm thinking he's proud of me for growing a garden.  (?)

G drew two pictures:



The picture with the two people in it shows Mommy handing G a soda, which makes him feel loved.  He proudly pointed out that he drew earrings on me.  Not sure why I don't have hair, but then again, neither does his figure.  I think the earrings are cool.  And I melt at the heart.

Then next person I'd like to express gratitude toward is my dear Jay.  I'll express my deep gratitude for his friendship, support, and love to him privately (ahem), but here I want to say thank you for this fruit basket!

This is unlike any fruit basket I've ever seen.  Italian fruit juice in the center, and then fruit-filled Toblerone, dark raspberry- and orange-chocolate from Godiva, a tropical trail mix, chocolate-covered blueberries, and three different yummo jams.  No more apples for me!

Thank You number four is to my mom.  This is the third Mother's Day without her, and I think I'm used to not being able to pick up the phone and call her now, but I still miss her like crazy.  She taught me soooo many practical skills, but she also taught me the importance of paying attention to people.  Without her reminders of that, I'd probably just be a big bad bossy person--getting jobs done but bulldozing over the people in my path.

And the last Thank You of today is to my mother-in-law.  This is my first Mother's Day without her.  I hate it.  Hate, hate, hate it.  Because she lived closer by than my mom, we usually spent part of the day with her.  And for the last two years, she gave me sweet sympathy cards, knowing how much I missed my mom.

Today, Jay took the kids to church and let me have some space to myself.  (I couldn't handle the idea of going somewhere where people would smile at me.)  Looking through a drawer, I found a spa gift certificate from his mom, given to me on my birthday last fall.  When she gave it to me, she grinned and suggested we go together sometime.  She died before we were able to.

Because of that, I just hadn't felt like I was up to using the certificate.  But today it felt right.

So thank you, Mom-in-Law, for the delicious pedicure and for being such a caring, loving presence in my life.  I love you.

P.S. I was hoping I wouldn't have a chatty pedicurist today, but the first thing she did was ask if I had fun plans for the day.  I politely said it was a sad day for me, hoping that would be the end of it.  But no, she had to ask me why it was sad.  Fine.  I told her, "I've lost both my moms."  Her eyes got super big, she mumbled something about being so sorry, and didn't say much the rest of the appointment--which is exactly what I wanted anyway!  :-p



An Earthly Birthday, 10 May 2012

Today is the birthday of Jay's.
I like him in so many ways!
When I'm in a bad mood
He does more than make food
(Though that in itself is a gift
Which helps the black cloud on me lift).
He listens to me and my heart--
As he's done for me from the start.

On a birthday ten years ago
He popped a question we all know:
"Will you marry me?" he whispered,
And my world very shortly heard
That Jay's the only one for me.
And while the future we can't see,
We're in it together for life.
I'm so very glad I'm Jay's wife!

A Heavenly Birthday, 08 May 2012

Today would have been my mom's birthday, and this morning I got a text from my dad asking, "I wonder which birthday she celebrates now.  Her original body birth or her spiritual birth or her arrival in Heaven with her new, healthy, forever body birth?"

My happy answer to this question was, "Why not all three?  I bet they give great parties up there."  Then later in the morning, I posed a similar question to G, saying I wondered if Grandma was having a party for her birthday today.  I loved his answer:

"I think that probably in Heaven, every day is your birthday!"

What that means in G's mind is, no more counting down the days (364 days takes a long time to count), receiving gifts and special food every day, and continuously feeling like the guest of honor.  Actually, that's not sounding too far off from descriptions we read in the Bible!

Heaven is our true home, so there's no more counting down the days until something better turns up, banquets and delicasies are served at God's table, we receive rewards from Him, and each person is welcomed with rejoicing.

Yup, it sounds to me like G's got the idea: In Heaven, every day is our birthday.  So happy birthday Mom--today and tomorrow and the day after and the day after!

There's a Ring to It, 05 May 2012

Today, yesterday, the day before, and all the days since last Friday I have felt a teeny bit closer to Mom.

Why?  Because I've been wearing one of her rings.  After I heart-breakingly lost my ring from Mom, my dear sister Kay sent me one that she hasn't ended up wearing, and I basically haven't taken it off since.  It's a Black Hills gold design of a rose surrounded by a tender grape vine, and it lays smoothly on my finger, not grazing door jams when I brush by too closely.  I remember seeing Mom wear this ring while we grew up, and it reminds me of her young-mom self.  Kinda like me.

If I were a photographer with a cool camera that could take non-blurry close-ups, I'd post a picture.  (Tried it.)  You can imagine the picture here.

This entire afternoon and most of this evening were spent wearing my Wedding Coordinator hat (it goes well with the Black Hills gold ring).  I might have to expand the label of that hat to Wedding and Destination Coordinator.  I don't know how most people do things, but my cute little large family does things together, and we don't like spending money on hotels...which means we have to find free beds for everyone.  Things are complicated a bit by the fact that less than half my family lives in the wedding city.

But by the end of today, everyone now has a bed--or a patch of carpet--reserved for Wedding Week.  What made today's coordinating fun, though, was that I ended up speaking with my dad and each of my siblings on the phone this afternoon!  That was a treat.

And even though I didn't get to speak with my mom today, I know she'd be proud of my efforts to care for the family...and I get to think of her every time I see the ring on my finger.