- I want to get away with Jay. Far away, like for maybe two weeks. Using the excuse of our 10th wedding anniversary, I'm trying to figure out if we can swing it. Jay keeps telling me that what other people do or think doesn't matter, but I keep having this little voice in the back of my mind saying, "It's only the 10th. People don't go on big vacations unless it's their 25th or 30th." Being afraid of what other people think is one of the things I do best, so I'm working through that.
- When--and I'll say when and not if--Jay and I get away, how can we fit in all the things we want to do in the amount of time and money we have? That's where creativity comes in.
- Yesterday I went to a new craft store that opened in my city. The store's pretty awesome, but I had a very unexpected reaction as I browsed the aisles: I wanted to cry! Didn't see that coming. Maybe because I wish I were a craftier person? Maybe because it reminded me of projects we did as kids...with my mom? Sigh.
- While at the craft store, I started thinking about Christmas. Kinda hard not to when hundreds of square feet are dedicated to holiday decor and merchandise. Who in my family will be together this year? Will we be at my house? Will I want to put up stockings for everyone, or only the people who are present?
- My mom's parents are moving out of their house of 50 years this fall, and I'm having a hard time imagining life without my grandparents in that house. The thick, soft carpet; the mirrored hall; the aroma of Old Spice and coffee; the brick fireplace; the floral bathroom wall paper and stained-glass dining room window. Until the past few years, my family had every Christmas day there. Hard to imagine Christmas without Grandma and Grandpa's house.
- Of course, we'll still be able to visit them...in their assisted-living apartment. What will that be like? It's a place I associate with my quiet, sweetly-wrinkled great-grandma, and I remember Christmases there, too. Every year growing up, the day after Christmas was a large family gathering with extended family in the community's club house. It smelled like bleach and hard carpet (well, it did). Will my grandparents' new place smell like bleach and carpet, or will it have the familiar scent of Old Spice and coffee? I'm guessing Old Spice will win out, and that is comforting.
Now it's time to get the kids breakfast, and I haven't finished my list. Other topics of note are a murder trial, an estate sale of my mom's things, the one-year anniversary of my mil's death, G starting first grade, being alone with Z during the mornings, a fall garden crop.
Thankfully, all this stuff does take a back burner when held up against my current desire for pancakes, which is rapidly overtaking all other thoughts in my brain. Let me remind myself: I am taking life one day at a time. Glad I acknowledged today's thoughts, but I'm not going to make them all today's concerns.
Hmmmm, buttermilk or sweet? Butter and syrup...
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