Jury's Still Out, 21 November 2012

Today, twelve o'clock noon came and went without a verdict being delivered.  So, we take a deep breath, try to shake off the stressful suspense, and go on with our week while we await continued deliberations next week (they start up again on 27 Nov).

For the record, I would just like to say that I am tired of going through this hard trial--in both its figurative and literal meanings.

In other news, my 21-pound (9.5 kg) turkey fits in my roasting pan!  And it might actually be completely thawed by 6:30 tomorrow morning when it goes into the oven.

As you can see, a tight squeeze.  Yes, I know it's upside-down; I'll flip it over tomorrow.

And now I am going to sit here and think about things I am very, very thankful for, specifically regarding my Jay.  If by this point in the season you have tired of reading other people's Thankful Lists--or if you can't handle reading me rave about my sweetie pie--close this window and write your own during the time you would have spent reading the rest of this post.  :-D

The following list is in no particular order (and I begin with the caveat that I am not listing Jay's many X-rated qualities, although I do happen to be highly thankful for those).

1) Jay loves to grocery shop.  Loves.  He enjoys it so much that he is willing to brave the wilds of Thanksgiving Eve crowds to pick up a couple loaves of bread...with the kids in tow!  He doesn't blindly grab things off the list, either; he compares prices from brand to brand and season to season, and if a new item catches his attention, he'll carefully assess whether it looks like a helpful deal or not.

This is the kind of jungle Jay's braving at this very moment.

2) Jay does dishes cheerfully.  I'm not saying he enjoys doing them (in fact, I know he doesn't), but he uncomplainingly returns day-by-day to the unending stream of crusty cookware.

3) Jay is taking care of his health.  He's on this crazy low-carb diet thing that I could never handle, but he is continually researching strategies for getting the best nutrition he can.  And mm-mm, he looks gooood (to state it in a family-friendly way).

4) Jay works at his job day-in and day-out, even though it's by-far not the most rewarding thing he can imagine doing.  But he doesn't just show up to work and scrape by--he looks for ways to improve and invest in what he's doing.  When the paycheck shows up each month, he sees it as equally belonging to our whole family, and doesn't lay on an iota of guilt or resentment that I do not bring home a salary.

5) Speaking of jobs, Jay is extremely affirming of my "domestic engineering" career as a homemaker.  When I decorate or cook or vacuum or garden or pay bills or brush the kids' teeth, he sees it as being highly valuable and worthwhile...and also views it as being hard work!

An example of the decorator aspect of my homemaking career, although I cannot take credit for placement of the rubber snake.

6) That said, Jay doesn't simply notice undone household chores and think, "That's Rachel's job."  He's started doing his own laundry, actually; and when I recently told him I was feeling guilty that I wasn't being vigilant about keeping his hamper empty, he said, "Well, they're my clothes!  I figure, if my hamper's full, I should wash them!"  And if that makes me all aflutter, you can only imagine what I felt today when he pulled a 7).

7) Jay will sometimes inquire about what's on my to-do list (or he'll take a guess), and then he'll pick my biggest, most stressful item, and do it for me when I'm not looking!  Today is a case in point.  Since I'm hosting Thanksgiving at our house tomorrow, I wanted to get our wide, tiled kitchen/dining room floor scrubbed.  But I was waiting until I had done most of today's baking to minimize re-dirtying it.  Jay saw "floor" written on my list and casually asked, "What's that mean?  It needs to be swept, or mopped, or what?"  "Well," I sighed with resignation, "actually it's a hands-and-knees scrubbing job.  I'll do it after my nap."  At which point, I unsuspectingly went off to take said nap.  When I got up 90 minutes later, the house smelled lemony and I discovered a sweaty Jay standing in the middle of a cleared-off kitchen floor, fans blowing all around.  "You...didn't...!" I stammered, and he lightly broke in, "Oh yeah, I scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees with tile cleaner while you were napping.  It's done.  Seriously though, you're surprised?"

True.  Love.  Right.  There.

Take that, Brad Pitt, Sean Connery, and Hugh Jackman!  This is the sexiest man alive right here.

8) You know that stereotypical "guys are bad listeners" idea?  Not Jay.  In fact, that's the second thing I liked about him after meeting him.  Jay listens to whatever I have on my mind or heart and really engages with me about it.

9) And that stereotypical thing about "guys don't express their feelings"?  Hah!  I am rarely at a loss to know how Jay feels about something, which enables us to communicate about it, and I'm not left to guess and hope his needs are being met.  Jay doesn't just hope other people or life automatically come in and take care of his needs, though.  If he needs to be alone, he lets me know and we work out ways for that to happen.  If he could use a late night playing games with friends, he lets me know we need to prioritize that.  He says "no" to things that he knows will overly-exhaust or pointlessly drain him, but is willing to say "yes" to challenges that could strengthen him for the better.

10) Jay loves his extended family--and mine.  With all of the trials (literal and figurative) our two families have been through over the past couple years, Jay has lovingly and patiently been a listener and counselor to his family, and has picked up slack for me when I've needed to be those things for my family.

I could go on.  I haven't even touched on what a wonderful daddy he is to our boys or how gifted he is musically or how dedicated his is to following the Lord.  But I think I'd better stop here because Jay just got back from the store and let me know it would help if I could get the kids ready for bed while he puts away groceries.

I rest my case.