Unexpected Conversations, 03 April 2012

First off, this charming conversation during today's breakfast:

R: G, you just poured too much syrup.
G: Okay, okay, I won't do it again.
Z: Yes you will.
G: No I won't.
Z: Yes you will.
G: No I won't.
R: Guys, let's not argue.
G: I'm not arguing.
R: Well, Z is.
Z: No I'm not.

And Rachel bursts into muffled laughter.

That kind of conversation is typical of the "expected" part of my life (although I admit to not realizing flat-out arguments started in the oh-so young).   The conversation that ended our day today comes out of the "unexpected" part of my life.  And this isn't a joke: Brace yourselves.

Tonight's bedtime conversation was about how my children's uncle killed their Nana.  They knew Nana had died, and they knew Uncle D was a bad guy now and was in jail, but the connection between the two was something I hoped they wouldn't need to make until about a decade from now.

But they had a lot of questions that, left unanswered, would cause fear and anxiousness on their parts, so I thought it best to be honest.  Besides, three-year old Z made the connection--complete with guessing the murder weapon--before I said anything.  Children feel out so much while we grownups blissfully assume they're not paying attention.

I think I won't recount the details of the conversation here (that was done in a private email to family and teachers), but I will say that we ended up with a beautiful conversation that included death, Heaven, cremation, Jesus, treasure in Heaven, anger, and prison.  Not that all of those subjects are beautiful, but cuddling on the bed with my two sons pressed up against me, listening to their honest questions, and giving honest answers--that is a beautiful part of being a mother to these children.

They have so much more to process in their little minds and hearts than so many other children their age, but they also have hearts that are just full of love.  And I love them so dearly.